2007-11-15

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sunrise in the garden laying here my lady in my arms
we talked all night of meaning the universe god and love
i sate inside myself there and dreamed of days better that would come
my dreaming life in power over my consciousness here and now

i could not see to the end of this dream the end of life formed
the pictures in my head dreaming at the speed of sound
but lately it seems to me that no on has much of any joy
in seeing me and loving me and rejoicing in connections that we share

the leaves swirled around in the meadow with no belief in unity or shame
the orange browns reds and yellows painting pictures of my pain
as i held on to my lover the falling leaves remind me of
my disconnect from feeling all the things promised in my life

for sammy

don't go out little boy
don't leave behind all your toys
don't grow up to a life in pain
don't live life without joy

there is so much for you to gain
but at what risk? how long lain?
if you go too soon for you to be
you'll be covered in rain

outside there is misery
bombs guns steel and the deepest sea
inside this home it is safe
let's just play you and me

inside you i see the future
don't ever let anyone hold you back
i just don't want you to suffer
i hope you have all that i lack

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ashes falling from the sky
a broken mother cries out why
her house is split upon its head
oh so many loved ones dead
the fires will destroy the world
every boy and every girl
the mountains they will move for this
destruction and the loss of bliss
a bombed out shelter lies a mess
it happened as she was getting dressed
a normal day or so she thought
normal till the bomb was dropped
the stripped down cars dead creatures
the body parts covered in dirt
a mother's broken cry of pain
he let this happen he's to blame

poetry pt II

i'm gonna start posting more of my writings.

i'm not gonna say that every one is by me but they all are unless otherwise stated.

2007-11-13

something else i wrote about my dad

The connection between my father and me is built on a foundation of devotion and care. He has taught me to be open minded, loving, analytical, and to live life well. Instead of the “Do as I say, not as I do” method of parenting adopted by so many, my father believes in teaching by example. Due to his humble beginnings working hard on a farm in west Texas and raising a daughter at seventeen years old, he was able to learn the principles that now guide me. Teaching me these life lessons, which we now refer to as “cowboy philosophy,” has made him the most influential person in my life.

The “cowboy philosophy” states that you should do the right thing because it is the right to do, not for self-serving reasons and not because you expect to get something in return. Living according to this creed has given me a clear-cut way of going about moral decision-making. The only thing that really matters when making a decision is that you trust your intuition and not betray what you know is right. In addition, it is important to be honorable and act in ways that would make you proud.

In addition to teaching me through his words, he has also taught me through his actions. In 2002, my parents divorced after a lengthy custody battle. In the years leading up to this, my father was working jobs in Houston, Austin, and San Antonio. He would drive back and forth between these places, sometimes multiple times in one day in order to work, but also so he could see me. I would call him regularly saying that I missed him and wanted to see him, and he would always come as quickly as he could, even if he had to drop everything he was doing and drive late into the night. Eventually, after fighting very hard, he won custody of my sister and me and we moved to Houston to live with him. Those daily sacrifices spoke loudly about my father’s family values; values that have now been passed down to me.

My father has also taught me important lessons about social responsibility. The "cowboy philosophy" strongly supports helping the less fortunate; according to the life-style, if a man needs help, he should have it. At the risk of sounding like a beauty pageant contestant, almost daily I find myself in situations where I am able to help someone. I have always tried to do so because it is the right thing to do as a “cowboy.” This has led to my interest in volunteer work and campaigning for social causes. My father has taught me to be open-minded and respectful of different views, whether they are religious, political, or social.

My father has also influenced me musically, passing on an appreciation and a genetic gift for music. We both have an ear for music enabling us to play a piece after hearing it for the first time. We often play music together, him on guitar, me on piano, or vise versa. This picture of us playing music together is symbolic of our whole relationship. It displays the profoundly deep connection that we share.

My father’s strength continues to inspire me and his actions have literally changed the course of my life. He has provided me with a very stable, happy, fulfilling life. He impacts me both through his verbal teachings and through his actions. All throughout my life, he has always been my closest ally, and this connection is something that is very powerful. One day he’s my teacher, the next my mentor, but always my best friend.

a sonnet for my friend lauren by me

It was three years ago when I met you
We didn’t really speak too much back then
But a year after that when I felt blue
You were there to talk to me, my good friend
We spent so much time talking and singing
You helped me through my trials and the sea
Speaking words only you could speak fleeting
I hope I helped you the way you helped me
You can’t ever know all you’ve done for us
We would drive around town with all our friends
You’ve visited me since, we rode the bus
All over the city, lights in the bins
But you’ve left for college, I miss you so
I wish you were here, why’d you have to go