we're all bruised and shell shocked
we've kept everything inside until it bursts out exploding
like a hydrogen bomb shredding apart our bones
melting our skin turning us to pink mist
rotten fruit falls from our mouths
bugs crawl from the pores in our skin
tearing their way out
we try to keep it all inside but we fail
our feet start to betray us make us stumble
we pass out in gutters sleep a few restless hours
till we wake up start it all over again
keeping everything inside makes it worse
a smoldering fire tears through this home
i don't want to perish to die under these terms
i'd rather just be honest to douse the fire
with cool water streaming out from my nose
but my sickness causes my brain to sizzle
like a hard disk drive being worked into failure
too much data causes a meltdown in my skull
until i can't see i can't hear
my senses all shut down they do nothing for me now
i cut off my ears slice out my tongue poke my eyes until they burst
so that i can just exist not feeling or caring for the outside world
some people think of this as hell
this pure disconnect being totally alone
but at times like these when my world is crashing down
when the levees burst and thousands of innocents die
when the bomb hits its target with no intent of it being a military one
when she turns away from me and she slams the door
when it seems everyone in my life has left me
when my skin melts off of my bones
it is at times like these that the idea of pure isolation
strikes me as heaven strikes me as solitude