insanity

In August of 2001 my seemingly splinter-proof
brain bone, scaffling imploded
I kept it on the hush, but nearly tumbling
to the cold hard concrete on near bodega trips
for ciggaretes and soda, shook me to kasper
Dizzy with a nothern chaser, motor sensory eraser
Gorophobe tunnel vision, guilt, self loathing arrangements
Rose rapidly outta bog I'd never fished in
that abates three separate foreign men's
While I seems to hook lines and syncro simple fishing
Simple primitive self taught, easing of soul, mind and body
but the symptoms rejected my cave-man modus operandi
So now it's one fish belly up, through medicated mol edge
Shrinks that get 250 an hour for awkward silence
And, I'd be lying if I said all of this
made even the slightest fragment of sense to me
That's frail... Simply put
I don't know what happened, or what's still happening
I literally feel like I'm teetering on the blunt edge of my sanity

okcomputer

i listened to ok computer in its entirety yesterday and have been listening to it since. i had of course heard and loved the album before yesterday but due to the mp3 digital age (ironically), i have taken to listening to music on a song by song basis, which is unfortunate when concerning radiohead. the album is amazing in the fact that each song is so good, and yet the next song is even better. the build up is insanely intense and the last song is of course the best. but then again, so is the first song, and the second song, etc. in a technologically uncertain time, the CD still resounds, even more fully than it did upon its release in 1997. the songs sing of alienation, dehumanization through technology, globalization, loneliness, mundaneness. quite a dark CD but amazing.... simply amazing.



the preceeding paragraph can easily be applied to any radiohead album. they are my favorite band and i cannot wait for the new CD to come out.

astros

i went to the astros game yesterday for my birthday with the twins. it was a good game. runs were not scored after the first inning and i was lucky enough to see greg maddux start against roy oswalt, two greats of the game. carlos lee belted a two run homer in the first as a good birthday gift and that was the last of the scoring. it was a great game. i went to the game today as well... it didn't go so well. jason jennings started, pitched 2/3 innings, gave up 11 runs, and earned a loss in a crazy 18-11 loss for the stros. i think a total of 7 homeruns were hit. i saw the astros debut of the new third baseman, wigginton, who is replacing morgan ensberg since the team placed him on assignment. this means they are either going to have to send him down to minors, trade him, or release him in the next ten days. it will be sad to see him leave but it is probably going to help the team as a whole since mo hasn't been playing very well since his injury last year. i'm hoping that pence will return soon and the stros can try to put some kind of run together, but i really don't have much hope left. i suppose i will start watching the mets and the redsox more.

harrypotter

on the night of friday july 20, i took my cousin connor as well as a couple of friends to borders in meyerland plaza for the midnight opening of harry potter and the deathly hallows. i began reading that night at 2 am when i got home, took a two hour nap at 5 am, woke up, continued reading, and finished at about noon on saturday. i often get emotional while viewing or reading emotional books/movies and the trend continued. the fact that i was finally reading something i'd been waiting for nearly half of my life for was a bit overwhelming. the book itself was fantastic... i won't get into deatils so as not to spoil anything, but needless to say it was a wonderful closing to a big chapter in my life.

future

a lot of people my age have a problem concerning their futures: they don't know what they want to do or where they want to go because they are not interested in anything (cameron fry's "nothing *shrug*" reply to the question "what do you like" comes to mind). as i get nearer and nearer to beginning senior year, and as i get older, today turning 17, i turn my thoughts to this but i find that my biggest problem is quite the opposite: i am interested in everything. since i learned to read, i have routinely read four or five books at a time at all times. this has created an all consuming desire to learn, inherited from my father, that has made me very interested in lots of subjects; politics, literature, music, science, medicine, society, anthropology, engineering, mathematics, history, psychology, business. i can see myself pursuing a career in any of these. i guess this problem is easier to have than the negation because pretty much no matter what i do, i can find a way to be happy with it. but it creates much conflict and confusion in me. hopefully, through the course of the next year, i will be able to narrow this down to something manageable. i want to write, live, sing, be active, change, change others, live, breathe, make others happy, be happy. i hope i can find some happy medium for all of my desires.